What's wrong with the theory that the Earth is only 6,000 years old and early man lived with dinosaurs? Children should also be taught the theory that the Earth (Gaia) gave birth to her husband, the Sky (Uranus). Then after Uranus proved to be a piece of shit husband, Gaia and her sons revolted. Cronus (the most powerful of all the Titans) chopped his father's man parts into pieces and threw it into the sea...oh and the frothy mixture that resulted became Love (Aphrodite). You're welcome, people of Earth. A frothy mixture gave you love!

Then, not to be outdone, Cronus became King of the world and "Sin" did not exist. Everybody lived in peace. Then, after marrying and screwing his sister, he fathered six kids. He was so fearful of having his father's fate that he actually swallowed the first five. When the 6th was born, the mother (Rhia) tricked Cronus by giving him a swaddled rock, which she passed off as Zeus.

Eventually, Zeus got older and returned to rescue his siblings and destroy Cronus. This began a long and drawn out war between the new "gods" and the Titans ending with Zeus as the King.

We should be teaching this as fact, too. It's my religion. Stop oppressing me!