101 of the craziest, strangest, most ridiculous Bible absurdities

[Johnny68]

https://lifelessons.co/spirituality/bible/

 

[Michchamp]

The fact that a Nun got angry with my friends and I for enjoying the parts Song of Songs (or maybe it was the Psalms), where the Biblical writer gets horny for his lover's perfect tits... that did it for me.

No place in my life for such hypocrisy. I was an atheist after that.

 

[tomdalton22]

pretty good list

I have a few favorites

Adam and Eve were the first 2 humans and had kids. Did the kids have sex with each other to keep humanity going?

Mary the virgin gets pregnant.

Mary: "Joe, I'm pregnant"
Joe: "but we haven't had sex yet"
Mary: "the baby isn't yours, god got me pregnant"
Joe: "oh, that makes sense"

 

[Mitchrapp]

God forgive you.

 

[byco42]

Skeptics who scratch the surface of the divinely possible and fail to attribute what is due to God and what is possible through Him will ever be limited to what they themselves consider as possible.

A more fruitful pursuit might be "what could make it possible." Otherwise, what's the point on dwelling on what is considered as "impossible?"

So the Bible is "crazy" to some. Move on, then. Or really read it for once.

 

[byco42]

The fact that a Nun got angry with my friends and I for enjoying the parts Song of Songs (or maybe it was the Psalms), where the Biblical writer gets horny for his lover's perfect tits... that did it for me.

No place in my life for such hypocrisy. I was an atheist after that.

Apparently you were not properly catechized, or refused to be.

Canticles

Explanation of Canticle 4:5. "Thy two breasts": Mystically to be understood: the love of God and the love of our neighbour, which are so united as twins which feed among the lilies: that is, the love of God and our neighbour, feeds on the divine mysteries and the holy sacraments, left by Christ to his spouse to feed and nourish her children.​

As for your circumstance:

And he that received the seed among thorns, is he that heareth the word, and the care of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choketh up the word, and he becometh fruitless.​

 

[tinselwolverine]

pretty good list

I have a few favorites

Adam and Eve were the first 2 humans and had kids. Did the kids have sex with each other to keep humanity going?

My understanding from that one Russell Crowe movie about the great flood is that they had three, sons; Cain, Abel, and Seth.

Maybe there was another family living in the neighborhood that had girls, I don?t know.

 

[Johnny68]

My understanding from that one Russell Crowe movie about the great flood is that they had three, sons; Cain, Abel, and Seth.

Maybe there was another family living in the neighborhood that had girls, I don?t know.

I remember that one, it had those kickass giant rock monsters that pissed off the religious cult something fierce.

No, you can't tell our fairy tale like that!!!!

 

[tinselwolverine]

I remember that one, it had those kickass giant rock monsters that pissed off the religious cult something fierce.

No, you can't tell our fairy tale like that!!!!

Bible movies have always had some of the most cutting edge special effects in movies, going back to Cecile b Demilles, and the 10 Commandments. Bible movies, and space war movies.

Maybe the next big genre will be Bible wars in space.

 

[Spartanmack]

Bible movies have always had some of the most cutting edge special effects in movies, going back to Cecile b Demilles, and the 10 Commandments. Bible movies, and space war movies.

Maybe the next big genre will be Bible wars in space.

As I recall, that was supposed to be a big part of Mel Brooks' History of the World part II