Tom Brady shares his old resume

[Michchamp]

It's pretty solid.

Needs a little bit of work with the action verbs... get rid of "helped" and "received" but otherwise nice work, Tom.

 

[tinselwolverine]

I don't know.

I'm pretty sure prospective employers are going to want to know what he's been doing over the course of the roughly last 15 years.

 

[Michchamp]

I don't know.

I'm pretty sure prospective employers are going to want to know what he's been doing over the course of the roughly last 15 years.

Quarterback, New England Patriots 2000-current
- Three time Super Bowl Champion; Two Time Super Bowl MVP and NFL MVP
- Nine time Pro Bowl participant

References: William S. Belichick 617-230-0230

 

[tinselwolverine]

Quarterback, New England Patriots 2000-current
- Three time Super Bowl Champion; Two Time Super Bowl MVP and NFL MVP
- Nine time Pro Bowl participant

References: William S. Belichick 617-230-0230

Office skills?

 

[TheVictors]

* Proficiency in Conversational Brazilian

 

[Michchamp]

They speak portugeuse.

 

[thewolverines24]

They speak portugeuse.

Yep.

My friend dated a Brazilian woman for a couple of years. She had friends over to our parties quite often and I quickly learned that Portuguese is a very loud language.

Almost as annoying as a porch of geese. Ba dum tss!

 

[TheVictors]

yes they do.

 

[Michchamp]

a lot of people assume they speak Spanish like the rest of Latin America, but they don't realize Brazil was settled by the Portuguese, and remained a Portuguese possession for hundreds of years.

 

[Michchamp]

Yep.

My friend dated a Brazilian woman for a couple of years. She had friends over to our parties quite often and I quickly learned that Portuguese is a very loud language.

Almost as annoying as a porch of geese. Ba dum tss!

I actually haven't met many Brazilians. A fair number of Argentinians, but few Brazilians.

a long time ago, I went to a boat party on Lake Orion. my friend was at Wayne State med school at the time, and invited a Brazilian exchange student from his class...

we were excited, imagining some exotic, tanned beauty in a barely-there bikini we could stare at, but she was from some rich Brazilian family, dressed like a nun basically, and spoke with an English accent, having gone to boarding school in London. And she didn't drink.

that was the first of many disappointments that day (that party was way over-hyped by a lot of people in retrospect.)

 

[Spartanmack]

He exposed himself to upper management? Those Merrill Lynch guys make their interns do some weird stuff.

 

[Michchamp]

He exposed himself to upper management? Those Merrill Lynch guys make their interns do some weird stuff.

banking/finance isn't much more than a "who has the biggest dong" contest anyway.

he figured he'd end an argument by showing the balding, pale, doughy twerps in upper management what he was packing.

 

[thewolverines24]

I actually haven't met many Brazilians. A fair number of Argentinians, but few Brazilians.

a long time ago, I went to a boat party on Lake Orion. my friend was at Wayne State med school at the time, and invited a Brazilian exchange student from his class...

we were excited, imagining some exotic, tanned beauty in a barely-there bikini we could stare at, but she was from some rich Brazilian family, dressed like a nun basically, and spoke with an English accent, having gone to boarding school in London. And she didn't drink.

that was the first of many disappointments that day (that party was way over-hyped by a lot of people in retrospect.)

The girls that came around our place barely believed in wearing clothes. One of them literally showed up to a party in a bra and shorts. She said her bra was her "top". No one was mad.

Myself and all of my friends had a sneaking suspicion that the first Brazilian he dated was a former prostitute/escort. That suspicion was confirmed when my friend and his wife found her escort card in Vegas.

The second he dated, he got pregnant. He did not have good luck in the Brazilian dating game.

 

[Spartanmack]

The second he dated, he got pregnant. He did not have good luck in the Brazilian dating game.

Clearly he got lucky at least once!

 

[TheVictors]

My buddy from college married a Colombian woman who turned out was crazy. Lasted a year.

But Colombia and Brazil are different countries and languages altogether, so...

 

[TheVictors]

He exposed himself to upper management? Those Merrill Lynch guys make their interns do some weird stuff.

True story.

At a firm office of not Merrill Lynch there was a female advisor who was known to sometimes give younger male coworkers the old Sharon Stone Basic Instinct shot...

 

[Michlady]

he said he started thinking about needing the resume as he dropped to 5th round

 

[Spartanmack]

True story.

At a firm office of not Merrill Lynch there was a female advisor who was known to sometimes give younger male coworkers the old Sharon Stone Basic Instinct shot...

True story at a firm I once worked for there was a managing director who was banging this junior associate in one of the auditoriums at the office. Little did he know the place was packed with state of the art media equipment and the whole thing was recorded (audio and video - multiple angles apparently) of him promising her fast track promotions and what not. Of course, him banging her on the job was also recorded. This all happened a couple years after I left but it's been confirmed by multiple credible sources.

 

[tinselwolverine]

True story at a firm I once worked for there was a managing director who was banging this junior associate in one of the auditoriums at the office. Little did he know the place was packed with state of the art media equipment and the whole thing was recorded (audio and video - multiple angles apparently) of him promising her fast track promotions and what not. Of course, him banging her on the job was also recorded. This all happened a couple years after I left but it's been confirmed by multiple credible sources.

Swallow Barn from the great American novel thread has a scene like this.

 

[Michchamp]

disgusting.

that sort of stuff just doesn't happen in the legal profession.